The Pro Bowl’s television ratings went down for the fourth straight year, and why wouldn’t they? Football fans want to see football, and the NFL’s All-Star Game bears no resemblance to the game we love.

This makes sense, of course, since the game we love is a remarkably violent one, and nobody is dumb enough to risk a career-ending injury over something so trite.

At this point, it may seem like the only solution for fixing the Pro Bowl is shoving it into a wood chipper Steve Buscemi-style. And it probably is. But simply giving up isn’t the American way, right? Give us a problem and eventually we’ll figure out a solution. Possibly a very convoluted one, but still a solution nevertheless.

And so here are some modest proposals to turn Pro Bowl Weekend into – well, not appointment viewing, but at least something you might consider over a trip to Home Depot.

Get back to where you once belonged: The only place to make the Pro Bowl work is at the end of the NFL schedule in Hawaii. It was unusual to get Super Bowl participants to show up before, but under the current format it is impossible. You can’t really be an all-star game and prevent some of the most crucial stars from showing up. And what’s more enticing for them to show up than a Hawaiian vacation?

Go back to AFC versus NFC: The whole fantasy draft idea is fun, but having no idea what team your favorite player is on is not. And what exactly are you rooting for if, say, two of your favorite team’s players are on Team Kosar and another two are on Team Muster?

Use skills to pay the bills: The NHL and NBA have created Saturday skills competitions that are usually more interesting than their respective all-star games. No one wants to see a 21-17 hockey game, but a lot of people are willing to find out which defenseman has a slap shot capable of breaking your face.

Likewise, while the NBA’s dunk contest is nowhere near what it was in its prime, it still produces entertaining moments from time-to-time. And the best shooters can always be counted on to show up for the Three-Point Competition. I’d watch Steph Curry and Klay Thompson try to one-up each other.

Even MLB, which has the only all-star game closely resembling the sport itself, has cashed in with the day-before Home Run Derby, which can command higher ticket prices than the game itself.

If people are willing to watch incoming rookies go through NFL Combine drills, surely they’d watch established pros do the same thing in a competitive setting. And unlike the game, you know guys would actually put some pride in their work. How many dudes want to prove they’re the fastest in the league? Now they can.

And it doesn’t have to all be boring stuff, either. I’m envisioning some “Battle of the Network Stars” style events. Who wouldn’t want to watch a Tug of War between linemen? Or how about a 4×100 relay race featuring a running back, wide receiver, defensive back and a wild-card choice that the other team gets to select? This would assure us of watching a compelling race that would likely end in the hilarity of watching two linemen, or maybe a lineman versus Peyton Manning, legging it out on the anchor leg.

Just play flag football: At the risk of sounding like all of your dads, the following statement is true – if you half-ass anything, you make a complete ass out of yourself. And the Pro Bowl is half-assed football. You can see what the result is.

So why not cut the pretense and just make it an actual game of flag football? It’s not like anyone is getting blasted running a pattern over the middle in the Pro Bowl anyway.

It sounds awful, but consider this. Due to the equipment, there is no sport where the stars are more obscured than football. Sure, we can identify the biggest faces in the game because of their endorsement deals. But if Randall Cobb walked into your coffee shop, would you know who he was, or would you just say, “Hey… I think that guy is… someone.”

No helmets. No pads. A flag football Pro Bowl, combined with the skills competition the night before, would give a more human face to the game’s biggest stars. And at a time when the sport is under more scrutiny than ever for concussions and health, it presents an image to parents that football is a fine, wholesome activity for their sons to participate in.

Because let’s face the facts – no all-star game is meant for adult consumption. It’s meant for kids. And encouraging those kids to get involved with the game starting at the flag football level is a step the league needs to consider taking when you’ve got personalities ranging the spectrum all the way from Barack Obama to Mike Ditka saying they would not encourage their sons to play the game.

As crazy as it sounds — and it should be noted this was not written from the comfort of a straightjacket — saving the Pro Bowl could be a doorway to saving the long-term health of football as a whole.